This is a repost from last year in celebration of holiday decorating and gift wrapping time...
I think I've been a little too confident, a little too comfy-cozy in my sobriety. I shrugged off other people's comments about the holidays getting to them. The maudlin memories of a glass of wine at a holiday party. The broken tradition of eggnog while decorating the house. All of those sensible images of drinking that we alcoholics think apply to us. But I was feeling like Teflon. None of it was getting to me. I had this thing sewn up.
Well, I had my little moment. I was decorating my Christmas tree. I know what you're thinking: I wished I had a nice glass of red wine, just like the old days...something like that. Something civilized.. Wrong. As I was hanging a Christmas ball, I said to myself, "I wish I was hammered right now."
Yep, I'm still an alcoholic. The moment passed and I was back on the beam. But as they say, never underestimate your opponent. I'm not feeling so smug anymore!
OMG!!!! This is so true! We all talk about how we wish we could have a glass of wine but for me, really, what I'm thinking is, "I wish I could get drunk."
ReplyDeleteThanks for keepin' in real my friend.
Sherry
LOL, the lies we tell ourselves, right!
Deletexoxox
Never underestimate your opponent, so true...
ReplyDeleteThinking of you!
Hi ROS!
DeleteI'm doing much better this week! Thank you for your friendship!
xoxox
So so true. I was thinking the other day about how I never used to say I was an alcoholic. it was always 'dysfunctional drinker' or 'enthusiastic wine drinker' or some such. Well, bloody hell. I'm an alcoholic and I don't drink because I can't control it. Simple. Sending love xxx
ReplyDeleteThat's right Mrs. D! Simple! And we can own this thing now! It is what it is. Better this than than many other maladies. And we all keep each other company!
Deletexoxox
I'll add to that... So True. It was never about the booze, it was all about the buzz for me. I didn't even like the taste of wine, just how it made me feel. Or so i thought.
ReplyDeleteHere's cheers to this sober christmas xo
Exactly right, IMO. We thought it still felt great at the end, but it was just euphoric recall. It really sucked in the end, can I get an Amen?
DeleteYes, cheers to this sober Christmas!
xoxox
Whoo boy, you hit that one right out of the park. I don't want a civilized glass of wine. I want all of the wine, every last drop. This will be my first sober Christmas and we are hosting the family at our house on Christmas Eve. I'm looking forward to having total recall Christmas morning. The only way to achieve that is by not having that first drink.
ReplyDeleteRight on, Lynne! That first drink is the killer. Here's to your beautiful first sober Christmas and new memories!
Deletexoxox
Ha, yeah, a glass of wine at the holidays only sounds relaxing as long as it's bringing 5 of its closest friends. And we all remember how that worked out. I hope this holiday season is treating you well.
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